Keeping anxiety at bay...or trying...

Well, on this third day of January I am trying not to let the anxiety creep back in.  I was positive yesterday, after talking to my friend who bankrupted over 3 million dollars and already has re-established credit.  I don't even think I have 10,000.00, but it's more than I have right now, so I talked to a lawyer yesterday.  He was very informative assuring me that I can get rid of every piece of debt including some old tax debt which I didn't think was possible.  The problem is the cost to retain him and to file is almost 800.00.  Now, if I had 800.00 I would have paid the rest of my November rent.  He is also suggesting filing my 2012 and 2013 tax returns, but my accountant has all of my tax paperwork and refuses to do my taxes because I owe her over 2,000.00.  So, I am in a bit of a catch 22.  I feel stuck again.

Not sure what to do, feeling the paralysis creeping in, and I am still in bed with my daughter (who has been throwing up every night for the past two weeks, and the doctor doesn't know why).  Yes, I am tired, concerned, scared, sick to my stomach and can't think my way out of this one.  By the grace of God, I will get through this.  It's frustrating when you work as hard as I do and somehow your life is still spinning out of control.  Sometimes you just have to throw your hands to God and say "take me there Lord, wherever I am supposed to be", because what I have been struggling to do is just not working (and it damn well should be!)  I'm not going to throw myself a pity party, I'm just going to try to stay positive and remember that God has a plan and he is leading me to my destiny.  I'm hoping that's not on a curb with a pillow, blanket and "please help" sign!

I will keep fighting this fight.  I even found a website yesterday called "cyber-begging".  (The official site is begslist.org.  It's kind of like a "fund-me" site, but for people like me who are about to be homeless.  I signed up and posted, so if it's Gods will, someone will deposit into that account!  That would be the miracle I've been asking for!  However, with reality checked, I am going to try the places that say they help with things like utilities that are about to be shut off, and even the Salvation Army and churches.

Check in soon to see how this all transpires.  And remember, you have a friend, and you have hope!

xoxo C